In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
