WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
