let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
