Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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