is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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