I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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