dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
