we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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