i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
