I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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