no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
