Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
