do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
