I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
