Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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