it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
