we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
