Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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(516): View more from New York

I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

(303): View more from Colorado

Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?

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(703): View more from Virginia

Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me

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