So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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