Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize