This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
