Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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