it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Never underestimate the power of titties
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
