have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
