we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
