i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
