it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
