i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
