I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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