The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
