Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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