this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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