I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
