; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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