I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
