yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
