24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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