I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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