I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
