Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
