I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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