She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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