She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize