Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
