How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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