If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
