Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize