I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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