Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
