Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
