And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
