Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
