I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
