just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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