Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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