I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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