new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize