Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
