So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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