i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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