We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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