Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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